A Family Affair – teaching others about ADHD

After 4 years of being unable to go back to our hometown to visit family due to work, we finally made it out there. Personally I missed being around all of them.  Childhood stories were re-told and old family dynamics arose. Overall the visit was a good one, but given the ADHD in my 4-member family, it had its fair amount of hiccups.

A visit to Carlsbad Caverns - Note to self: avoid long trips looking at somewhat monotonous things with people that have limited attention spans.

One of the things that I appreciate about being away from family is that we have the freedom to workout our inner ADHD issues without fear of judgment (however unintentional it may be). Living with an ADHD person means acceptance, patience, understanding and forgiveness. These are not easy to achieve, and a sense of appropriateness can creep in and make it even more difficult to keep level headed. I saw myself feeling protective and even defensive of my husband’s and daughter’s behavior, but also felt I had to protect other relatives from them. Not an enviable position to be in. I have become accustomed to how my two ADHDers behave, and it is easier to explain them away to strangers than it is to family.

I caught myself explaining multiple times why my daughter would get overly excited before breakfast (i.e. before medication since we want her to have a good meal before the appetite suppression kicks in as a side effect), and why she would be irritable come a certain time of the afternoon (when the medication was running out). And since medication does not control all ADHD symptoms, I also found myself apologizing to relatives over random outbursts. But a child’s behavior is somewhat easier to explain than an adult’s, and more so when for years family has not associated any of this with ADHD. It is easy to feel like I am giving a brand new excuse to an old problem. Looks of “here we go again” were common to see, and I don’t blame them at all, but I don’t see ADHD as a problem but a challenge.

We have certainly needed to re-work how we interacted with relatives to avoid bigger issues. Since my husband is new to using ADHD recommended tools and guides, he has an extremely hard time regulating himself. It is even harder to do around family, as old habits are easy to fall into. He gets easily irritated over the same things that irritated him as a boy or a teenager, and although he is aware of it now we both feel it is better to limit our exposure so bigger issues don’t arise.

High pitch sounds/noises trigger the worst in both my kids (more so in my son who we still have not taken to get diagnosed), and in my husband. This sound sensitivity is not unique to ADHD, but a very common occurrence. Still, being around tons of young cousins/nieces/nephews as well as high-pitched laughs (very common of all our family get-togethers) were tests for all of us, and we passed just barely.

Family is very important to us, but not everyone is knowledgeable of ADHD issues, maybe not as receptive to us trying to provide this information, or even possibly stuck in old ways. 

We enjoyed our time with family more than words can express, and all 4 of us are learning to adapt ourselves, but we are leaving little tidbits of information about ADHD to our family as well. When people interact it is a two way street, but when it comes to ADHD most of the work comes from the ADHDers. Hopefully the world will learn more about ADHD as my kids grow up, but for now it is up to us to inform those around us.

For our next visit we will not let another 4 years pass by for sure, as the good times outweigh the challenges, and we will be better prepared for those with every passing day.

Are old habits hard to overcome when you see family?

Rossana G-A



FTC Disclaimer: I am not compensated to write this post.

Tooth fairy and the like

Who among us has not heard of the childhood tradition of placing your fallen baby teeth under your pillow to wake up and find money the tooth fairy left behind in exchange for your tooth? Where I am from, it wasn't a fairy but a tiny mouse, but the steps where the same.

Image from http://www.icaughtthetoothfairy.com/

As I was telling some colleagues about the eminent visit as the tooth had been hanging for weeks now, one of them told me a story of how his family also has traditions of leprechauns visiting on St. Patrik's Day. This led to an even funnier story of his kid loosing a tooth that day and how she woke up the next morning to a note saying "I took the money the tooth fairy left you and hid it elsewhere in the house", because leprechauns like money, right?! Leprechauns leave behind green milk, green juice, and all sorts of mischief, or so I've been told. Kids are encouraged to set up all sorts of traps for them.

Image from http://www.chocolatecakemoments.com/

Image from http://www.chocolatecakemoments.com/

In any case, I had no idea some people expect visits from leprechauns, which led me to think, what other childhood visitors do families out there celebrate? I know the Easter Bunny, Santa, and as I already mentioned, the Tooth Fairy.

For Santa

Some have the Three Wise Men/Three Kings visit on January 6th. Some people have a visit from Cupid on February 14th. What else is out there, and what fun ways do they let you know they have come by?



Rossana G-A




FTC Disclaimer: I am not compensated to write this post.

Birthday Party for an 8 year old girl - Rocker theme

Throwing a party for an 8 year old tween is no small feat. Tweens can have pretty high expectations and they definitely want some say in the planning. My girls is not the exception. She changed her mind so much about what she wanted, from ballerina to princess to fairies, that I decided to pause the planning until we were closer to the date. Good thing, because she ended up picking rocker girl. Thus the invites we made at home.

So we went on with the theme and picked cupcakes that would look like microphones to hand out at school (we always take a treat to her class at school). it was supposed to look more polished, like the picture in a recipe book we have at home, but they didn't end up looking as nice and yet they were a big hit with her class mates and some school mates from other classes came running to try and get one (some did since I made a few extra).

Picture from What's New Cupcake?

Not so bad, but not so polished.

Then we went on to buying more rock themed goodies, like getting a piñata in the shape of a rock guitar and some inflatable guitars for the party favors.

Then we moved on to more important stuff, like what to wear!!! Yes, a tween already wants to plan what to wear to her 8th year birthday shindig. This included a hot pink tutu and some colorful hair extensions for the Rock STAR.

                                                                 

For goodie bags I figured I'd forgo the plastic bags and I would use the brown paper bags I use for my kid's lunches when they go on field trips (a generic brand from our local grocery store).

I printed the same images I used for our party invitations, and glued them to the brown bags, added some colorful "Rock On" etc, and we had our finished product.

For the cake, I was fortunate enough to have my daughter's godmother offer to make it for us.

Rock Star Cake

We did have to change the venue because we planned for a park and it was forecast to rain (which rain it DID). I stressed out over the prospect, but in the end a local restaurant we frequent was kind enough to make room for us, and we used their kids' meal menu. Because of that we had kids' activity mats and crayons provided by the restaurant. We also could not break the piñata but it made for a cool prop. 

One of many pictures taken at the party.

Birthday Girl with her little brother.

She and her friends had a blast.  

Would your little girl like a rock-star themed party?

Rossana G-A




FTC Disclaimer: I am not compensated to write this post.

Birthday Party for a 6 year old boy

A month ago I had my little boy Lucian's 6th Birthday Party. I am about to have my girl Alessa's 8th Birthday Party in a week, and was planning on posting about some of the planning involved. I then realized I should go ahead and post about both.

I'm not going to lie, I did stress a bit over what to do and how to do it, and this was the first party I threw for him that was with his friends from school and not just our family and close friends. This added to the "it has to be just so" neurosis. 

In the end, it was mostly about what made him happy and not about having the perfect party because for him it was just perfect.

The invitations were made at home by my husband. He actually jumped ahead of me and did them himself based on what my son told him he wanted, i.e. Dinosaurs! I probably would have gone crazy with color, but it was a Dad/Son bonding moment so I let them have it.

Good thing to keep in mind is having people reply if attending so you have a better count for food and party favors, as well as planning some of the party games. A map is also very helpful, and a phone number to call in case anyone gets lost.

Then I started with the goodie bags. I wanted to be as eco-friendly as possible, so instead of buying plastic bags I went with paper bags and did some designs at home with stencils we already had. Did I mention my boy loves dinosaurs?!

Then we went on to do some party games and some cute cupcake containers. Remember that game where you balance a lime or an egg on a spoon and race to the finish line without dropping it? I forget the name, but you get the idea. Since we had a dinosaur theme going, we switched the lime for an empty egg shell in fun colors. These kindergardeners had a ton of fun doing this, but even more fun cracking the egg shells afterward. I also baked some cupcakes in them. Please note I washed the shells and boiled them for 15 minutes to make sure they were safe. The kiddo's loved peeling their egg to get to the chocolate cupcake inside.

Then the piñata. No, I didn't make it, although my husband was willing to try. We actually went down to the nearest party supply store and bought one. They didn't have a T-Rex, and my boy was dead set on one, so he convinced me to buy a dragon (which according to him is related to dinosaurs, just that it has wings and breathes fire, but we can discuss that at a later time). He also suggested I make the necessary changes to make it look like a dinosaur, like clip the wings (which I then put on the new dinosaur's back). I wonder were he gets his creativity from?!

And then we filled both goodie bags and piñata with treats, sugary and not. Some chocolates, lollipops, fruit snacks, and raisins, among others. I also threw in the goodie bags some miniature dinosaur toys and stamps, which even the girls loved when they opened their bags.

Then, the part I was most afraid of, the cake. I have baked cakes my whole life and they are very good, but I've never really decorated them. I had the tools for some time now, but never really used them. So I gave it a whirl, and I think it didn't end up half bad.

Added some of my boy's dinosaur toys (washed beforehand, of course), and 6 candles, and we were set. 

Got some pizza, juice boxes and water bottles, some fruit to slice (apples and oranges), the cake and cupcakes I already mentioned. 2 hours for the party, set at our local park/playground, the race, a "pin the pterodactyl on the Jurassic park" (bought at the party supply store, a "pin the tale on the donkey" type game), and piñata cracking at the end and everyone was happy to go home with their goodie bags.

Lucian was happy to take home his presents. Not the point of this whole endeavor, but nice to see a big smile on his face because most all of his friends made it to the party.

Nice sunny day, and over 26 kids attended, but we did have some party fouls, like having the cake almost melt because of how sunny it was. Since I covered it up in my cake carrier to put it in the shade, a 2 year old guest found it irresistible to look at the green stuff inside and knocked it over. We had 20 kids RSVP (16 friends and 4 of their siblings), but 6 came with siblings they did not count when replying. Not the end of the world because "Mom" always plans for worst case scenarios and made extra of everything. In the end, whatever wasn't perfect didn't matter when hearing my boy say "This was the best party. Ever!!!" And that made it So Perf for me!!

What makes a birthday party special for you?

Rossana G-A


FTC Disclaimer: I am not compensated to write this post.

Going out with kids: Not Mission Impossible.

Venturing out of the house with two kids can be challenging some days, traumatizing others, but perfectly doable all the time. If it is going grocery shopping, a doctors's visit, a stop at the bank, or a nice family meal at a restaurant, I do my best to plan ahead.

What you DO need to know are your kids patterns and their likes. Avoid outings when it is close to their bed time (or nap time for younger kids), meal time, or their usual high activity peak time. I know my kids are super active around 10am and will slow down a bit after lunch time. They hit another peak time around 3pm but tapper down close to 5pm (around dinner time).

I also know that after 30 minutes at an given place without some sort of entertainments will result in acting out. I try to keep outings to no more than 2 hours and always take some entertainments options with me, not to mention some sort of snack and water. I understand that not every errand or outing can be done in 2 hours, and all the more reason to go out prepared.

Some tools I have employed can be as simple as paper and crayons and as technologically advanced as an iTouch.

One line of activity books I love is from My Doodle Masterpiece!

My soon to be 8 year old can spend hours coloring alone, but this particular book, Fabulous Doodles, gives her many more creative ideas, like coming up with designs for painting a foot with henna, or what you can see below if flying in a hot air balloon. So much fun for her.

And they have other books available depending on the interest, like Halloween or Christmas themed, among others (like they show on the back).

My 6 year old boy loves Oodles of doodles, and it also offers many creative activities from counting, to finding patters, to simply drawing and using his imagination.

What could be carrying this boy away? A dinosaur maybe? A gorilla? Or who is the mystery guest? And you can see he already came up with the scary movie. How funny boys can be!

And it offers other options at the back.

 These, along with a box of crayons, and always some extra drawing paper is all I need while waiting for our order at a restaurant, or maybe even waiting for our appointment at the dentist.

The more advanced option for us when going on an airplane or even when walking through the grocery store is an iTouch. The app store has tons of free games, but they also offer many affordable games for a more defined interest, like all the makeup and dress-up games my girl likes, or the angry birds or zombie games my boy begs for.

I paired these up with some blue tooth wireless headphones from GoGroove Audio and we can actually enjoy a quiet flight while they watch the latests movie downloaded from Netflix

(Image from GoGroove Audio)

(Images from Netflix)

These options are So Perf! for us as they restore some semblance of sanity to our outings. And yes, we do try to spend some quality family time talking, but it really doesn't work when your waiter is asking for your order and the kids are jumping up and down, or when your flight is 4 hours long. We allow ourselves to make exceptions and it works for us. All if fair in love and war, and in raising kids without tying them to their seats.

What tricks do you have up your sleeve to make your outings with kids more manageable? 

Rossana G-A  

FTC Disclaimer: I am not compensated to write this post.

Remember to STOP and smell the Roses

I've been thinking all night about what to blog about first. So many things I want to share, but where to start?
Then this morning during my 90 minute commute to work I realized I'm now looking at the world a different way than I did 10 years ago. Before, I'd be in such a rush to get wherever I was going that I didn't enjoy the ride. I've been changing that about myself ever since I had kids, because I want to enjoy them, and I want them to enjoy every part of their lives.
So I'm thinking of this, waiting for my last ride of my work commute, and I see behind my shuttle stop this lovley view.

This picture doesn't do it justice, but between the sun hitting the building just so, the cherry tree blossoms being that amazing shade of pale pink, and the last drops of morning dew on the blades of grass, it looked So Perf!

Once in a while, remember to stop what you are doing, and smell the roses.

Rossana G-A