I take issue with your news story NYT

I struggled greatly with the idea my daughter could be diagnosed with ADHD as early as age 4, and it took me close to 3 more years to agree to get her diagnosed, and a few extra months to agree to use prescription drugs. I read as much as I could about it and when I finally did take that step with her I still felt some hesitation. No amount of drug company propaganda or doctor reassurances made me feel any better until I saw with my own eyes how she reacted to it. As I have mentioned before in this blog, it wasn’t an easy road, but what did make me feel a bit better about taking that first step was reading other parents’ experiences with their children, and still and proceeded with caution.

If I had any long lasting proven alternative to prescription drugs I would go that route in a heartbeat, because I know the cons to prescription drugs as well as I know the pros, and at this point in time the pros outweigh the cons. As a parent I feel it is my job to safeguard my children by being informed, and I happen to think my physician’s office is not the end-all-be-all for information. That may not be the case with other parents.

I take issue with reporting that “Several doctors mentioned that advertising from the pharmaceutical industry that played off parents’ fears” such as Shire’s Vyvanse showing a parent looking at her son and saying, “I want to do all I can to help him succeed.” I saw that ad and I still didn’t want my child on medication, but those exacts words came from me months afterward when she finally was on medication and succeeding. If anything, that ad is SPOT ON. Whoever thinks otherwise has obviously not gone through the angst of deciding to medicate their child with a stimulant.

The below is their current ad campaign for Vyvanse, and I think very accurate about the work still needed regardless of the medication.

http://www.vyvansekids.com/?mid=V002682

Other drug companies may have similar ads, but I am greatly familiar with this one as we use it in our family.

I also take issue with physicians and other healthcare providers making less of our parental concerns. I heard Dr. Hallowell refer to stimulants as being “safer than aspirin,” and I knew that wasn’t accurate. Aspirin actually has several risks, but we live with them anyway because we weigh the options. Yet, most people aren’t given those options to weigh up-front and in the open. The information is there for the taking, but in fine print, in libraries, in medical publications, in places you need to go out and look for. It isn’t the first thing they give you when diagnosed. It is actually one of the lasts things they give you, and usually after they have given you a prescription.

I know many people are still reluctant to take their children to get evaluated because of all the negative media surrounding ADHD and medication. I have personally spoken to several parents who had concerns about their children and getting an ADHD diagnosis, and their chief complaint was exactly that. I don’t make less of their worry, I relate, but I also share my experiences with both my children. I also advocate for them to get informed and show them the way to several publications.

I don’t doubt there are plenty of children being misdiagnosed, and I know there are some teachers out there not helping matters by pressuring parents into getting their children medicated as if that was the one and only solution. There could be a happy medium. Healthcare providers could be more careful in their diagnosis, and provide parents with additional reading resources so they can make informed decisions.

Scare tactics by the media, and the New York Times in particular with yet another article blowing out of proportion ADHD diagnosis and treatment, is not the way to go. http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/01/health/more-diagnoses-of-hyperactivity-causing-concern.html?pagewanted=all I have read this article published yesterday several times now, and I understand there is some very accurate information in it (although two corrections have been made from yesterday to today, so maybe they were too quick to the punch), but it also has very alarming language that can make a hesitant parent steer completely away from even getting their child diagnosed fearing the worst. Several other people I spoke to who read it had the same first reaction I did, which was that of an “alarming” story. It wasn’t till I pointed out other facts in it and some of my own that they realized they walked away with only the negatives and none of the positives, such as the wording changes expected from the American Psychiatric Association to the criteria for ADHD diagnosis to allow that symptoms merely “impact” daily activities, rather than cause “impairment.” This is actually a good thing, which they attempted to point out, and yet I still find their choice of words didn't help when saying:

 merely “impact” daily activities

It make it feel unimportant, small, insignificant. This “merely” has some heavy repercussions when the symptoms show up every day several times a day. A leaky pipe can have some permanent damage on the rest of your house.

My kids have shown great improvement through medication, but also through patterns and structure in their routines and some diet modification. We are doing so well that we can have our weekends OFF of medication. Their symptoms are still there, but less prevalent and a bit more manageable during days that don't require so much focus on detail and where their impulsivity can be curtailed by their parents (i.e. me and Hubby).

I am just tired of people who don’t know what it is to live with ADHD to pass judgment. It is a daily struggle, and you are not making it any easier. If only one child gets better options simply because of the diagnosis alone it will make their life that much better, even if they choose not to use medication. Don’t scare them off. Medication is one small part of treating ADHD, but this sort of publicity makes people stay away from the rest when it can make all the difference in the world to simply KNOW.

Do you think some news stories get exaggerated?




Rossana G-A



FTC Disclaimer: I am not compensated to write this post.

Change is difficult…duuuhhh!!

Change is difficult to cope with for most people.  There is security behind routine. There is a whole industry making money teaching people how to cope with change. And since I deal with change management at work I should be an expert in it, right??!?! Nope!!!

I am probably one of few people out there that actually enjoys change, but it depends on the circumstances. I find it exciting to try something new. I have no qualms in trying it out and giving it a good chance, and if the cost isn’t great, moving on to something that may be better. This has actually worked in my benefit for most my life, and in particular when finding solutions for the 3 ADHDers I have at home. I would read about a particular strategy, schedule, meal plan, and if it sounded like something that would work for at least one of mine I would give it a go. We have found many solutions that way.

This same attitude made it easier, for me at least, to see a particular solution stop working all of a sudden for one or all of my ADHDers, simply because of the nature of who they are. They get bored, tired, frustrated a lot quicker than others, and sometimes there is just no use in swimming up stream.

I had incorporated so many new things into our lives as of late that I really didn’t take into account how they felt about YET ANOTHER CHANGE!! Oh yes, you know what is coming, that big BOOM is near!!!

So my ADHDers have been taking medication for a few years now, and since Dad is the one that takes the kids to school because I have to be on a train to work at that time, Dad is the one that dishes out the pills. One small problem here….Dad needs a pill too….a pill that helps with what again?? Oh, that’s right, with focus (a.k.a. not getting distracted and doing what you are supposed to do). So it came as no surprise to have a day pop up here and another day pop up there where we had stronger ADHD symptoms show up in one or two or all in my clan. We came to figure that it was very possible someone didn’t take their pill that day.

We had never really counted pills, nor did we think we had to or wanted to. Imagine counting as many as 90 pills a day to find out if all 3 had taken their dose. NOT GONNA HAPPEN!! So I talked to some people, looked on some blogs, and read some advice columns. I came to the conclusion that a pill box for each would be a great solution. I found ones that came with dividers not only for the 7 days of the week but also for AM and PM. Awesome, right? Hubby didn’t think so. It was messing with his routine. So I let it go…till we had 2 more incidents of forgetfulness and going without a pill. It had been him that didn’t take his pill, or so he thought…he couldn’t be sure, and he couldn’t take a second pill just in case. So I very quietly ordered the pill boxes for all four of us (I have my own set of medications and vitamins, etc. so may as well get us all in the same habit). 

Two a Day Pill Organizer, Small

Pill boxes arrived, in different colors for each so there was no confusing medications, and I was excited. Daddy wasn’t so excited, and with good reason. I didn’t ask him. I didn’t prepare him. I didn’t even consider him. Not my M.O., but I somehow felt it was O.K. to go ahead anyway because it was in everyone’s best interest. HAVE I LEARNED NOTHING FROM ALL THOSE BOOKS OF “CHANGE MANAGEMENT”???? What was I thinking?? And I did it in my own home!! Shame on me.

The kids, on the other had, were rather excited to have a pill box of their very own. But we will have to see how this NEW strategy works. Hubby warmed up to the idea after I apologized and told him he didn’t have to use his box if he didn’t want to. After allowing him a few hours to calm down and maybe think about it a bit more, I asked him if he wanted me to prepare his box for him, and he nodded yes (reluctant acceptance). Victory?? Nope, not yet! Not in this family. Victory is only if it actually works, not if they agree to try. So I counted my blessings.

Last night everyone took their PM share from their pill boxes. We were all excited to start. This morning, running out to go to work as I always do I almost ran out without checking my pill box, till my kids pointed out they would be checking theirs once breakfast was done. Jeesshhhh!! And here I was complaining about them forgetting their stuff and about how hard Hubby took to my idea for this change. I got a look from hubby that was a mix between a smile and a silent “I told you so”, but we have been together way too long to say it out loud, so early in the morning, and before our coffee was all gone. I learned my lesson. Fingers crossed and this will actually work long term.


What have you changed recently that was hard to get used to?






Rossana G-A



FTC Disclaimer: I am not compensated to write this post.

Avoiding dairy. Harder than it sounds!!

Since my son was diagnosed with a dairy allergy I went into full-blown research mode (as I tend to do with everything that is new to me). I read medical journals, went into dairy-free forums, blogs, books, and even some Facebook pages that talked specifically about this topic.

One website with tons of good info is www.godairyfree.org.

I liked the info on the website so much that I bought the book “Go Dairy Free: The Guide and Cookbook for Milk Allergies, Lactose Intolerance, and Casein-Free Living”. 

That had tons of good recipes but also information. 

My husband wanted even more information about dairy allergies and ADHD, so he purchased for us “The Kid-Friendly ADHD & Autism Cookbook, Updated and Revised: The Ultimate Guide to the Gluten-Free, Casein-Free Diet”. 

That is another good book as well. It also shared some very appealing recipes. All fine and good, but my son is a picky eater, and I searched far and wide for recipes that besides being dairy free could be appealing to him….visually and taste wise….so I hit the jackpot with “Cooking for Isaiah: Gluten-Free & Dairy-Free Recipes for Easy, Delicious Meals”. 

The author of this book, Silvana Nardone, also has a website http://www.silvanaskitchen.com/ , a Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/silvananardoneglutenfreedairyfree?fref=ts , and is the Editor –in-Chief of “Easy Eats” http://www.easyeats.com/ . This last one is more of a gluten free site, but many times gluten free recipes are dairy free and a good source. My son has seen all the pictures in the book and is excited every time I tell him I am trying out one of the recipes there. So far so good. Anecdotally I can say he is doing much better, both with his allergies and with his ADHD. I can even say all four of us (Mom, Dad, Daughter, Son) are all doing much better health wise, so much so that even if his allergy goes away we will continue to do our best to be dairy free.

It is a pain to be dairy free though. My focus is more on dairy and I was surprised how many thinks use dairy or even casein. The strangest to me was to find out my kids’ multi-vitamin had milk http://www.centrum.com/centrum-kids#chewables.

I have become an expert food label reader. And it is exhausting.

We have decided to do our best to go organic, free of most preservatives, and thus mainly fresh products. We have also decided to do our best to avoid gluten and artificial colors, like Red 40. Red 40 is another one that surprised me how many things contain it. I expected it in my son’s bag of skittles, but then it turned up in a Duncan Hines icing, and again in that multivitamin I already discarded because of the milk. Jeshhhhh!!!

So as I am about to hit the “purchase” button on a vegan multivitamin that is milk free and red 40 free http://www.nowfoods.com/Supplements/Products-by-Category/Vitamins/Multiple-Vitamins---Childrens/M075933.htm I am hopeful that my whole family will benefit from leading a more simple way of life. 

Don’t get me wrong, because I still am enrolling my son in a study to slowly increase his tolerance to milk, but that is only so he can partake in pizza and cake at birthday parties at some point. Hopefully starting this journey so early in his life will make him a life-long healthy-lifestyle convert. Time will tell.

What healthy life-style changes are you making lately?


Rossana G-A



FTC Disclaimer: I am not compensated to write this post.

How we got through the holidays.

I had been giving this a lot of thought when in reality that is exactly the opposite of what I needed to do. How we got through the holidays is by simply enjoying them. And don’t think that was an easy task either, not with 3 ADHDers and one very worrisome Mom. Going to see family has always been a bit stressful, beginning with the fact that we have very limited amount of time to spend with them since we live far away, and then splitting up our time between his family, and my family, and making it all count. Then you add the fact that my kids are very rambunctious, Dad is very strict, and a lot of the Holiday events are somewhat formal…this equals some more tension.

So I had a conversation with my husband before taking off on our trip. We chose to drive given the high prices of flights and the need for our own transportation once there. We also decided we would break up the long trip into 3 shorter more digestible drives, making our first stop a bit over 6 hours into it at a hotel, our second stop the next day at a bit over 7 hours at my brother-in-law’s house with his wife and kids where we spent the rest of the day, and the last stop in less than 5 hours with my in-law’s.

We also decided we needed to take enough for the kids to be entertained both on the drive there and during our stay, so we got them their Christmas presents early, which where 2 mini iPads, loaded plenty of movies, books, and games. We also brought along some regular books and toys.

One key factor for us at least was planning some time for the kids to decompress, which meant making time for them to be just with us (Mom and Dad), and not having the pressure to “behave”. Don’t get me wrong, my kids behave pretty well with us, Mom and Dad, but they can get a little out of hand with all the excitement of seeing relatives that they can forget their manners in an attempt to be funny. Coincidentally we had the opportunity to stay at my sister-in-law’s house while she was at her in-law’s, and that made that decompression time a bit easier. If we had not been at a different house alone we would probably had made pockets of time for the kids to be alone with us, like we did on our last day when we did spend the night with my in-law’s and chose to take the kids to a movie. The movie was a way for them to let their hair down, besides the fact that my kiddos crave entertainment on a regular basis.

Another part of my conversation with my husband was to have a mutual understanding that we would somewhat disconnect. What I mean by that is that precisely because our kiddos are so rambunctious we tend to need to supervise them constantly to make sure they are not setting the curtains on fire or sticking a fork in anything electric (I say this in jest….a bit….but not really) . Needing so much supervision, and a lot of it being repetitive given their ADHD, can make any parent a bit irritable, but a Dad with ADHD even more so. So we both agreed to not supervise them so much. We would have to roll with the punches. Hopefully one of their cousins would tell on them if they decided to juggle knives.

We were also traveling with a newly discovered constraint, which is my son’s milk allergy. Although his allergy is not life threatening and could very well continue to eat dairy with some antihistamines, we have seen improvements in his ADHD symptoms and also my daughter’s ADHD symptoms (who doesn’t show any milk allergy symptoms) since we decided to lead a dairy free life to the best of our abilities. With that in mind we decided to take a few measures to continue this diet as much as possible on our trip, but to also break a few rules and let them eat some dairy if it was right in front of their face, like Christmas cookies, or some other yummy treat.

I am happy to report that with much of the dairy products evaded during this trip, and since we were on vacation and let our hair down, we actually went a few days without ADHD medication without many complaints. I believe their ADHD symptoms were very reduce (including Dad), but pair that up with our “vacation” attitude, and we faired really well.

We knew we were asking a lot out of them during this trip, both for being in a car for so long and with behaving with relatives, that we also planned a tiny reward for them at the end of the long journey. Our second to last stop back home was Universal Studios. We ate out, walked the park, rode the rides, saw the attractions, walked away with 2 very cool transformers’ T-shirts for the kiddos, and stayed 2 nights at the nearest Hilton (one to rest up before the day at the park, and another to rest up for the last bit of driving).

It was a total of 10 days, and although I did do some laundry in the middle, I came home to do a ton of laundry on the 31st. We were all so tired, but so happy to be home too. One very excellent way to tie 2012 in a perfect little bow. So Perf!!

How did you get through the holidays?


Rossana G-A

Allergies and ADHD

I have been remiss in posting for about 2 months, but here is why. Besides the usual craziness that is my life with a husband and 2 kids with ADHD, I had a lot going on with family. Among them was my son’s allergies not going away.

A bit of history is needed here. Both my kids and my husband have sensitive skin, so much so that they can’t use any soaps with fragrance, not any harsh stripping soaps, and at one point needed a liquid soap with oatmeal for calming effects. They are also sensitive to some fabrics, and can’t use many synthetics. Tags?!?! Let me tell you about tags!! They annoy them so much, and cutting them just makes it worse, and some tag-less brands irritate their skin even more so. So I am left with a small variety of clothing brands where the tag is softer, or the tag-less ones that the imprint is made in the dying and not by a rubbery stamp. Aughhh. Skin lotions….same ball of wax….only very mild lotions will do.

So we have those items under control, but then we have environmental issues. I have no environmental allergies, although genetically on my side of the family it is as if we were part bloodhound, and could possibly have successful jobs as food critics since we can also tell what ingredients are in a dish. On my husband’s side of the family, pollen is a foe. When pollen counts go up he can’t stop sneezing, his eyes get watery, and he is in an all out bad mood (not that its much different otherwise J). So when we discovered my son had pollen allergies when he was a mere 6 months old, it didn’t come as a surprise. This diagnosis came from a myriad of ear infections and constant colds (or so we thought they were colds).

Antihistamines have been a constant in our house. Then at 3 years old we detected this incessant blinking, which we were told was a tic and would grow out of it. But we got to a point where antihistamines weren’t’ cutting it, and now at 6 years old he was constantly clearing his throat, complaining of itchy eyes and nose, and dry skin (although no rash). We had postponed an allergy test when he was 4 as we didn’t think it was something we wanted to subject him too so young and with so few issues, but it got worse as he got older so we went back and got it done. 

Most types of grass and some types of trees were no surprise to show up on the allergy list, but was most surprising was milk, and milk protein “casein” as well. We suspected it as his throat clearing would suddenly reach new highs when eating cereal with milk. Then we noticed the same with his string cheese snacks…but somehow, since Dad has the same reaction, we thought it was just a mild sensitivity, like so many they have. An allergic reaction was not what I was expecting.

I was actually pretty sad with the diagnosis as my boy eats dairy all day every day, from milk, to yogurt, to all types of cheese…mac and cheese, egg & cheese burritos, soap with shredded cheese…and the list goes on and on. So when the allergist suggested a protocol to increase his dairy tolerance we decided to go for it, and yet the protocol was not fully approved and we would have to wait till January. So for now we would go on a dairy free diet.

The products we had already been using are almond milk from either Silk Pure Almond or Almond Breeze. At my local grocers I have a hard time finding the chocolate flavor in the refrigerated Almond Breeze, so we usually end up buying the "Dark Chocolate" Silk, but for the vanilla and original we have bought the Almond Breeze. Now that the kids have tasted both, we probably will continue to buy different brand for different flavors.

I also went on a hunt for recipes and information about dairy. I found all types of substitutions (almond milk when milk is called for, vegetable shortening without trans fat when butter was called for, and some other tricks for when buttermilk is used). I still need to try out this shortening, but hopefully it will do for all my baking needs instead of butter.

I read reviews on vegan cheese and decided my cheese connoisseur son would never go for it. We also tried 3 types of vegan yogurts, and so far 2 have not passed his pallet test (waiting to see if this odd almond/chocolate dairy free yogurt will pass the lunch test today).

I was impacted by how many foods have dairy in them, or the risk of having been in contact with dairy and still pose a threat, like chocolate chips (they are made in the same factory as milk chocolate chips, so even if they contain no milk they may have picked up some casein in the process). Aughhhh, again.

Sure, his reaction to dairy isn’t that bad…and if he is wanting a scoop of ice-cream or a slice of pizza so badly that he is willing to put up with the side effects, I’ll let him do it once in a blue moon, but both him and I have seen how much better he feels so far without it.

So I thought our dairy free time would be limited to the time we could get him in the study, but then I run into medical article after medical article, all discussing different aspects of casein and links to ADHD behavior. The gist of it was that there is an enzyme lacking in most patients diagnosed with ADHD, and without it casein (the protein found in dairy) isn’t processed appropriately, and as such causes a chemical imbalance in the brain and so it misfires in the form of inattention, lack of restraint, and even hyperactivity. In a couple of clinical studies, some patients off of dairy saw such a reduction in ADHD symptoms that they could come off of their medication. The key phrase here is “some patients” and not all, and yet this gave me enough pause to consider dairy free as a way of life. I also don’t think it is the cause, but if it will make it more manageable then Hallelujah.

As we are yet in the early stages of dairy free life (a week so far), we have yet to see what long-term results may look like. I also have to admit that I am a frugal frugal woman, and I have tons of dairy at home still, and since my daughter and I don’t have an allergic reaction to it we decided to volunteer ourselves to consume it all. My husband does have a reaction to dairy, but he decided he can put up with it for the sake of being economical. I actually think he is having a hard time giving it up as well, and so he is postponing it.

At some point, all dairy will be gone at home, and we can do a true test of how my 3 ADHDers do without it. I still think there is room for those “once in a blue moon” moments, but if living a MOSTLY dairy free existence will help, we are willing to try.

I am posting a link to one article that is more layman’s terms than others.
http://www.pnas.org/content/107/9/4401.full.pdf+html 

What allergies changed your life?


Rossana G-A



FTC Disclaimer: I am not compensated to write this post.

Packing in the Magnesium - No-Bake Chocolate Chip Granola Bars

I recently read that many ADHD experts believe ADHD people have a mild Magnesium Deficiency. Some of the symptoms of magnesium deficiency include irritability, decreased attention span, and mental confusion

In one preliminary study of 75 magnesium-deficient children with ADHD, those who received magnesium supplements showed an improvement in behavior compared to those who did not receive the supplements. Too much magnesium can be dangerous and magnesium can interfere with certain medications, including some antibiotics and some high blood pressure medications.

Our doctor gave us the go ahead to add more foods that have a healthy dose of magnesium, but you should always talk to your doctor if you have health concerns.

One way I decided to make this endeavor more fun was with an easy no-bake granola recipe. I added plenty of bran, and magnesium rich nuts like cashews and brazil nuts.

Recipe that yields30 bars goes like this:

Ingredients:

½ cup butter

½ cup honey

2/3 cup packed brown sugar

1 cups old fashioned rolled oats

1 cup crispy rice cereal

1 cup bran flakes

1 cup all-bran

½ cup raisins

¼ cup almonds

¼ cup pine nuts

¼ cup walnuts

¼ cup cashews

¼ cup brazil nuts

1 teaspoon vanilla

½ cup mini chocolate chips, semi-sweet

Directions:

In a large bowl, stir oats, rice cereal, bran flakes, all-bran, raisins, and all the nuts together. Set aside. In a small pot, melt butter, honey and brown sugar together over medium high heat until it comes to a bubble. Reduce the heat and cook 2 minutes. Pour in vanilla and stir. Pour over dry ingredients and mix well to moisten all ingredients. Pour into lightly greased Half Sheet pan {about 18x13x1} and press out to be about 3/4 in or just below the 1 in thickness.

Note: Do not add the chocolate chips before this point as they will melt with the melted butter, sugar, honey mix.

Sprinkle with mini chocolate chips and press down lightly.

I am pretty impatient, so I cooled them in the freezer for about 10 minutes before cutting into bars. I left them in the pan in the refrigerator for a one more hour before I packed them up in a few plastic containers. I took one of the containers on an outing with my kiddos and they loved them.



They come home from school and beg for one instead of asking for candy or cookies, and they will even ask for one while they wait for breakfast to be ready. They love them so much that I made my first batch 11 days ago and as of this morning we ran out. I love it that they love it!

What are some of the ways you sneak in healthy foods in your diet?


Rossana G-A

FTC Disclaimer: I am not compensated to write this post.

Organized for Back to School

Every parent wants their children to start the school year off right, but for my crew it is even more of an endeavor. In order for us to start on track, and stay on track we needed some new tools, and to continue using some of our old ones.

We found this cool legal pad looking decal at Bed Bath and Beyond. It is a dry erase board where you can list out chores, or reminders of any sort. We got two; one for the fridge and one for the kids' bedroom mirrored closet door. In the kitchen are their chores. In the bedroom are their daily steps to get ready in the morning and to get ready for bed at night. 

We already had these assorted color magnets, and we are continuing to use them to highlight what chores have been done and which ones still need to be done. We use them on the fridge or on one of our dry erase boards. They don't work on the mirror, for obvious reasons, but I just thought I would clarify in case anyone was wondering.

We also already had this dry erase calendar from Target, and we have continued to use it to mark those special appointments, trips, days off from school, etc. It has been a great tool.

And since we have been doing the 'dry erase" thing for a while we had to stock up on new dry erase markers as well.

Another item I have been using for almost 2 years now are these great Mead Organizher fridge filer. The top bar is magnetized, and it has 3 plastic pockets with tabs which you can index/organize. I have 2, one for each kid. In them I put their school calendar, their classroom schedule, and any special paperwork their particular teacher may give me (like the list of classmates, and their parents). It has helped us enormously!! It is all within reach any time we need it, and even the kids know where to look for their school information.

 

Another tool in our arsenal is a large cork board. We use this to pin all those things that are a bit further in our schedule, like a flyer for an event at our local park, or the flyer for school picture day. They don't fit on our dry erase calendar yet, and the refrigerator is full enough as well, so these things get pinned in a separate spot to be checked the following month. It could also be a spot to put quick reference school tools, like multiplication tables, or grammar rules - the kids know to run and get them if their homework requires it.

And, of course, some push pins to pin stuff up. The clear ones are for regular stuff to pin, and the color ones are for those items that need special attention (like a birthday party invitation).

Our most recent addition is this lovely hall tree and storage bench. We have a coat hanger already, and we have some other storage around the house, but this one is specially assigned to school stuff. Everyone gets a double hook assigned; one for their backpack and one for their jacket. Larger jackets can be stored inside. Lunch bags are stored on the top shelf, along with other miscellaneous stuff, like swimming goggles (yes, random, but this summer it has helped to keep them handy). 

Our shoe rack is right next to it, so the bench is a good place to sit and put on your shoes, or sit to take them off and hang them back up.

These few and possibly uncommon tools and strategies have worked for us so far, and once school starts in a couple of days, will be tested further. It is up to us to stay constant and keep using them.

What organization tools and strategies do you use?



Rossana G-A


FTC Disclaimer: I am not compensated to write this post.

A better start in the morning - Protein and complex carbs.

Now that the ADHD count has gone up in my home from 2 people to 3 (both kids and hubby), I have been noticing more opportunities for improvement. One major one being good eating habits. I want to make sure they have the best start to their day so they are in a better mood and in a better position to take on what the day throws at them.

This probably should have been my focus all along, but you get complaisant and tired, and all of a sudden you are having them eat cold cereal every morning. So here I go back on the healthy train.

So far this week I have done pretty well, and all campers are happy.  

Monday morning- Oatmeal:

• Steel cut oats 
• Raisins 
• Cinnamon 
• Brown sugar 
• 2% milk 

Tuesday morning – Bean and Cheese Burritos:

 

• 2 whole-wheat tortillas 
• Refried beans 
• Shredded part-skimmed mozzarella 

 Wednesday morning – Egg and Cheese Burritos: 

• 2 whole-wheat tortillas 
• 2 scrambled eggs 
• Shredded part-skimmed mozzarella

Thursday morning – Egg, Spinach, and Cheese Quiche (sans crust) and toast with jam: 

• 4 tablespoons chopped spinach 
• 2 eggs 
• Shredded part-skimmed mozzarella 
• 1 slice of whole-wheat toast with butter and fruit jam

I'm thinking tomorrow I may make some whole-wheat pancakes with nuts, but who knows, I'm still getting inspired by food images on the internet.

What breakfast dishes help you start your morning on the right foot?




Rossana G-A


FTC Disclaimer: I am not compensated to write this post.

Married to ADHD- Whatever works!!

I have been married to my lovely ADHD husband over a decade now. We have been together for a bit over 16 years too. It is a lot of time for trial and error, and we will probably have lots more. I even think we will have a lot of this because of the nature of ADHD and how he easily grows tired of certain routines.

This has affected every aspect of our relationship, from financial to child rearing. We tried joint accounts where one managed expenses, then the other, and then finally separate accounts but shared monthly expenses and savings. We did breakfast duties him and dinner duties me, and switched, and then switched back. 

He would love to wear this shirt.

Something I haven’t been able to get rid of is the title of “Queen Nagger”. Surprisingly enough, I let a ton of things go simply because I am not insane and I know it doesn’t work to keep asking for it to get done. It only creates conflict. And yet I am the bad guy for reminding him that the leaves and branches he promised to take rake and take to the trash will not miraculously disappear after 3 months.

So what is a none ADHD wife to do with an ADHD husband?? Whatever works!!

My current strategy was to make an overly analyzed work chart, showing what each one usually does around the house and with the kids, how long it takes, and how many hours it adds up to. I finally had facts to reason with him. I could show how he indeed was doing a lot, but how much he wasn’t that he said he would, and who was picking up the slack because they were shared tasks. 

He refuses to clean toilets, so I do it.

No.1 thing I eliminated was shared duties. I did not want to be the warden in a jail telling him what to do and when to do it. I also didn’t want to feel annoyed that I was doing more than my share when he promised otherwise. I charted exactly what he was to be solely responsible for and what where mine.

He gets annoyed with folding clothes, so I do it.

No, it wasn’t an instant win. He actually argued how unfair it was that they weren’t shared. Why did he have to take out the trash every time?? Because I wash the clothes, clean the toilet, and mop the floors every time!! Wanna trade?? Didn’t think so! It wasn’t easy, and I didn’t give him attitude about it either. I presented the plan. We discussed it a few times, we argued a few others, and after a few more days to let him think about it I think we have come to an agreement. The key word here is “I think”, because he never actually admitted to it, he just started doing the things assigned to him on my chart. But that is all I need, for now. 

He actually doesn't mind taking out the trash, but he forgets.

No arguments yet. We have had a good few weeks doing this. We have managed to keep our place looking nice.

Now, we have to wait for school to start up again for both kids and him (he is in the middle of his Ph.D.), and hopefully we can keep this up. If not, then we switch it up again. Whatever works!!! Had I said that already??


How do you divide chores and tasks with your significant other?




Rossana G-A


FTC Disclaimer: I am not compensated to write this post.

My part to change an imperfect world - Spreading the word about ADHD

ABC 20/20 story April 2012

Back in April I saw a 20/20 story about how Human Resources at different places still discriminate against people, and one topic that struck me hard was the fact that they still avoid hiring Moms. The story mentioned having the company rep walk out with the candidate all the way to their car to see if they could notice a baby seat or booster chair in the car. Really? People still do that? What a world we live in, huh?

I am doing my part to take away that stigma as well. I talk about being a working mom to everyone at work. They can see how being a mom does not take away from the quality of work I do. They can see I have no qualms about asking for a day off because I need to take my child to a doctor’s appointment, or the dentist, or leave early to go to their holiday recital, because I can still come back the next day and work just as hard to make up for my time. I actually think I work harder BECAUSE I am a MOM, because I know I will take time off, or call in sick when my child is not well, so I make sure my business is taken care off before I leave or in case I can’t come in. And many other Moms and Dads have done the same here in the Bay Area where I live. Coming from Texas and to Northern California I was able to see how the culture over here was much more family friendly. And this did not happen over night. This happened because of people talking and writing about their family life, making it a priority to have certain accommodations, not being ashamed of putting family ahead of work.

I make mention of this because I feel a lot more people would relate to fighting for work/life balance then they would about something more specific to me or my family.

TIME Magazine - Are you Mom enough? May 2012

Back in May, not long after the famous (and for some, the “infamous”) cover photo of TIME with the breastfeeding Mom and the article about “attachment parenting”, I read a criticism about the image and its effect on the child in it when he grew up. The article spoke about how this child may some day be a regretful adult looking back at this picture, wishing it had never happened. Maybe so, but maybe not.

Parenting.com - Pop Culture- May 2012

These parents (and I don’t only mention the Mom as both Dad and Mom agreed to the publication) have strong opinions about attachment parenting, and about how they feel the message needs to be out there, that it is OK to breastfeed past a certain age, and the important bonding that occurs, etc. etc. I will withhold my own opinions about attachment parenting, as that is not the point of my mentioning it. What IS the point is that I am confident that with such strong beliefs they will continue to talk about how they parent and how they decided to speak out about it, and this child may very well be a very proud adult that decides to also follow attachment parenting and continue to be a “poster-adult” for the cause.

That is how I feel about talking and writing publicly about what my family faces every day because of our ADHD. I say “our” even though I don’t have ADHD, but when 3 out of 4 in my family have it is like I have it too.

I have written about how my husband was diagnosed with ADHD since he was a baby (yes, it was that obvious and severe with him!). I have also written about how hard it was for both him and I to notice the same symptoms in my daughter since she was little, and then finally face the music and get her evaluated and diagnosed. The every day things are still hard, but once you have gotten as far as getting informed and getting diagnosed, the rest is a lot easier. My son has also recently gotten evaluated and diagnosed as ADHD, but this time around it wasn’t as emotional or hard to take.

I have also learned to talk with my kids’ teachers about what accommodation they need and what they don’t, and I happen to be very proud of the fact that they will talk to people about their symptoms and how they cope with them in a very informed and nonchalant fashion. Why should they act any other way?

I have admitted before that I was afraid to get my daughter diagnosed because I was afraid of having her be labeled, but after getting much more informed and weighing the pros and cons, if a label is what they need to get the accommodations they deserve and for their self-esteem not to suffer as much then so be it.

Many ADHD posts on my own blog, So Perf!

We live in an imperfect world, and it is up to us to change it. In a perfect world people wouldn’t care if you are a Parent to make a hiring decision. In a perfect world they wouldn’t care if a 4 year old were still breastfeeding or doing it in public. In a perfect world they wouldn’t care if you were ADHD or not.

In a perfect world they would see that most parents are super multitaskers and an asset. In a perfect world we would see breastfeeding more naturally and not so shocking, regardless of age or place. In a perfect world they would notice an ADHD symptom and know exactly why it is happening and how to address it and how to even help (like giving them time and space to get over a hurdle). In a perfect world their school wouldn’t need a parent to ask for a special accommodation or plan, because they would simply know that not all kids are alike and they ALL (even those without ADHD) learn differently.

What I am doing by writing about what we as a family go through and how we handle things is what I consider my part to change this imperfect world, if only a little bit at a time.

For however long ADHD has been acknowledged, and people hear about it on TV and in newspapers, the vast majority of people know nothing more than it is a label for someone who gets easily distracted and is more active than most. And that is about as much as I knew about it for over 10 years of being with my husband, and how we suffered for that lack of knowledge. Why would I want others to go through the same struggles that ignorance causes, lack of understanding and empathy, and the heartache?

In the few years my daughter has been diagnosed, the people we interact with at her school have increased their knowledge and understanding of ADHD through us. Some parents have even taken the extremely hard step of taking their kids to get evaluated, and some even came back with an ADHD diagnosis. I think that is a major accomplishment because my daughter struggled with school, her self-esteem, and her social skills simply because we had not diagnosed her. Since then she has been doing incredibly well. Why would I want another child to suffer along several years with ADHD without the right tools to help them?

I am proud that we went to get my son evaluated a whole year sooner than my daughter. We had our suspicions about him around the same time my daughter was diagnosed, but we wanted to give him a chance to mature and either show it was just his early age or that it indeed was ADHD, but at least we did not struggle with the fear of taking him to the doctor. It was easier now that we had all the information.

ADHD is found in families, but no specific gene has yet been determined. Odds are that my grandchildren will be ADHD. In a perfect world, my kids will know so much more about this, their spouses/partners will know as well and not from my family informing them, and my grandkids will have all that my husband didn’t; understanding from others, empathy, and ready for success from the get-go.

I am working towards my perfect world.



What are you doing to help change this imperfect world?








Rossana G-A


FTC Disclaimer: I am not compensated to write this post.