Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Being a Mom doesn't mean being perfect.

"Why do I love you so much?" I asked my son one day. His response? "Because you have to!!! You are my Mommy!!! Duh!!" From the mouth of babes!!! I think he is a genius, or maybe I am just over-thinking things. Maybe we are all over-thinking things.

Both my kids have told me at one time or another "You are the Best Mommy EVER!!!". And I know that isn't accurate, no matter how much I would like to think so, or how much I wish for it. I also happened to ask my son not too long ago how he knew I was the "Best Mommy EVER!!!" and he slashed my fantasy down to size with his truthfulness. He told me very matter-of-factly "every Mommy is the best Mommy ever to their kids! That is how it is supposed to be!!!".

Yep, he knows something most of us Moms don't, or if we do we burry it deep in our subconscious and indulge in obsessing over how good or bad a job we are doing. 

I don't know how many times I have read articles, blogs, Facebook postings about how Pinterest has turned motherhood into a bloodsport. They all included rhetoric about how seeing how other Mom's constantly posted pins of beautiful birthday cakes, magazine like Easter dinners, the craftiest of kid crafts...that those pictures undermined how they saw themselves as mothers if they had not tried or had and failed to reach perfection level.

I also read a Parenting.com article in reference to how posting cute, smiling pictures of your kids was equivalent to a lie (not exactly in those words). The author went on to elaborate that she held off from posting such pictures on Facebook because it mislead others to think it was always about laugh and giggles at home. In my opinion, I like taking those cute pictures to remind myself of why it is all worth it, because there are PLENTY of moments when you forget. Who is so diluted to think life with kids is all about laugh and giggles?? Someone who hasn't been around kids for more than 10 minutes maybe, but everyone else has seen how quickly it can turn into a see of tears over "not letting them drink the bath water" or other such examples, like this new trending tumblr page http://reasonsmysoniscrying.tumblr.com or even this truthful website and blog about motherhood www.scarymommy.com

They aren't always happy

I am a mother of two, and a career woman, but also love trying to do "what I can" to indulge is some of the things I see posted on Pinterest. I don't see it as a competition. I don't see myself as inadequate if I don't do it all.  I don't see others as inadequate if they don't try at all. I think as Mothers, but especially as Women, we need to stop tearing each other down. We need to lift one another up. Encourage each other. 

Making Pizza at home

When life isn't perfect (which it constantly isn't) we need to remember we are doing our best, and that is good enough for our kids. They love us just the way we are, because we love them. Love is all you need....and lots and lots of humor. Feel free to laugh at yourself. Don't worry about those cupcakes that don't look exactly like those magazine microphone ones, and enjoy the moment. 

How my cupcakes were supposed to look.
They don't exactly look like the magazine or Pinterest

I do the best I can, but I am not doing it to impress anyone else. I do it because I think my kids will appreciate it. Last year I made the cupcakes above. I thought they looked dreadful. My daughter apparently didn't as she asked me if we can make them again next year. Wow!!! That made my day!!!

I know wonderful mothers all across the country and the world, and I am lucky enough to call them friends. All of them love their kids, and it shows. And when they do post a picture of their kids or their terrific craft, I let them know what a wonderful job they are doing. Maybe I can do the same craft. Maybe I can try and have an epic fail. It doesn't matter!!!! We all still have to turn around and wipe a snotty nose, pick-up toys from the floor, tuck our kids into bed, and all of that is worthy of praise. We are not perfect, but we are Moms, and we are perfect for our kids.

Do you feel like you need to be "The Perfect Mom"?

Rossana G-A

FTC Disclaimer: I am not compensated to write this post.