Change is difficult…duuuhhh!!

Change is difficult to cope with for most people.  There is security behind routine. There is a whole industry making money teaching people how to cope with change. And since I deal with change management at work I should be an expert in it, right??!?! Nope!!!

I am probably one of few people out there that actually enjoys change, but it depends on the circumstances. I find it exciting to try something new. I have no qualms in trying it out and giving it a good chance, and if the cost isn’t great, moving on to something that may be better. This has actually worked in my benefit for most my life, and in particular when finding solutions for the 3 ADHDers I have at home. I would read about a particular strategy, schedule, meal plan, and if it sounded like something that would work for at least one of mine I would give it a go. We have found many solutions that way.

This same attitude made it easier, for me at least, to see a particular solution stop working all of a sudden for one or all of my ADHDers, simply because of the nature of who they are. They get bored, tired, frustrated a lot quicker than others, and sometimes there is just no use in swimming up stream.

I had incorporated so many new things into our lives as of late that I really didn’t take into account how they felt about YET ANOTHER CHANGE!! Oh yes, you know what is coming, that big BOOM is near!!!

So my ADHDers have been taking medication for a few years now, and since Dad is the one that takes the kids to school because I have to be on a train to work at that time, Dad is the one that dishes out the pills. One small problem here….Dad needs a pill too….a pill that helps with what again?? Oh, that’s right, with focus (a.k.a. not getting distracted and doing what you are supposed to do). So it came as no surprise to have a day pop up here and another day pop up there where we had stronger ADHD symptoms show up in one or two or all in my clan. We came to figure that it was very possible someone didn’t take their pill that day.

We had never really counted pills, nor did we think we had to or wanted to. Imagine counting as many as 90 pills a day to find out if all 3 had taken their dose. NOT GONNA HAPPEN!! So I talked to some people, looked on some blogs, and read some advice columns. I came to the conclusion that a pill box for each would be a great solution. I found ones that came with dividers not only for the 7 days of the week but also for AM and PM. Awesome, right? Hubby didn’t think so. It was messing with his routine. So I let it go…till we had 2 more incidents of forgetfulness and going without a pill. It had been him that didn’t take his pill, or so he thought…he couldn’t be sure, and he couldn’t take a second pill just in case. So I very quietly ordered the pill boxes for all four of us (I have my own set of medications and vitamins, etc. so may as well get us all in the same habit). 

Two a Day Pill Organizer, Small

Pill boxes arrived, in different colors for each so there was no confusing medications, and I was excited. Daddy wasn’t so excited, and with good reason. I didn’t ask him. I didn’t prepare him. I didn’t even consider him. Not my M.O., but I somehow felt it was O.K. to go ahead anyway because it was in everyone’s best interest. HAVE I LEARNED NOTHING FROM ALL THOSE BOOKS OF “CHANGE MANAGEMENT”???? What was I thinking?? And I did it in my own home!! Shame on me.

The kids, on the other had, were rather excited to have a pill box of their very own. But we will have to see how this NEW strategy works. Hubby warmed up to the idea after I apologized and told him he didn’t have to use his box if he didn’t want to. After allowing him a few hours to calm down and maybe think about it a bit more, I asked him if he wanted me to prepare his box for him, and he nodded yes (reluctant acceptance). Victory?? Nope, not yet! Not in this family. Victory is only if it actually works, not if they agree to try. So I counted my blessings.

Last night everyone took their PM share from their pill boxes. We were all excited to start. This morning, running out to go to work as I always do I almost ran out without checking my pill box, till my kids pointed out they would be checking theirs once breakfast was done. Jeesshhhh!! And here I was complaining about them forgetting their stuff and about how hard Hubby took to my idea for this change. I got a look from hubby that was a mix between a smile and a silent “I told you so”, but we have been together way too long to say it out loud, so early in the morning, and before our coffee was all gone. I learned my lesson. Fingers crossed and this will actually work long term.


What have you changed recently that was hard to get used to?






Rossana G-A



FTC Disclaimer: I am not compensated to write this post.

Time stops for no one, so enjoy it! Carpe Diem

Around this time of year I really get thinking about how quickly time passes by. My son's birthday is at the end of January and my daughter's birthday is at the later part of March. Additionally, my Mom's birthday is today. All those things together make me be enormously grateful that I get to spend another moment with my kids, that I get to go home and see them, and that I get to enjoy watching them grow into such caring wonderful people.

I enjoy having them crawl into bed with me just to snuggle and cuddle because they want to be with me. I may be sleepy and want a few more minutes in bed, and they do let me stay in (although chatting away in a whispery voice). I can't even make myself open my eyes yet, but I love those precious moments under the covers.

I enjoy having them ask me to make them something yummy, because "your food taste so good Mommy. It must be because you make it with LOVE!!"

I enjoy reminding myself that our brand of crazy isn't crazy at all, it's just US, and we love it.

And even if our humor isn't for everyone, it is for us, which is what matters.

And I definitely enjoy that all the hard work, sleepless nights, constantly guiding them in the right direction....is actually paying off in terms of building these warm hearted individuals. 

I was shocked to realize that all the things we say to our kids that appear to go in one ear and out the other actually do stay in their heads. While on a road trip to go spend Christmas with our family back home, I heard my little girl tell a complete stranger at a gas stop restroom what she was most excited about for this Christmas. When asked if she was excited about presents she said "No, not the presents for me. I am excited about giving presents to my family. I want to see them happy, because Christmas is not about getting, it is about giving and family". Wow!!! She actually heard some of what I have been saying. My explanation was a bit more religious of course, but I am glad the major points stuck with her.

I've always thought you have to seize the day, but with the hustle and bustle that is everyday life with 2 kids it can be easy to forget to do so.

And a message to my hubby: Babe, we've done right!!! And we did it together!!!

OK, so not the best grammar, but this is not English class but it is So Perf!

How do you make sure you seize the day?




Rossana G-A



FTC Disclaimer: I am not compensated to write this post.

How we got through the holidays.

I had been giving this a lot of thought when in reality that is exactly the opposite of what I needed to do. How we got through the holidays is by simply enjoying them. And don’t think that was an easy task either, not with 3 ADHDers and one very worrisome Mom. Going to see family has always been a bit stressful, beginning with the fact that we have very limited amount of time to spend with them since we live far away, and then splitting up our time between his family, and my family, and making it all count. Then you add the fact that my kids are very rambunctious, Dad is very strict, and a lot of the Holiday events are somewhat formal…this equals some more tension.

So I had a conversation with my husband before taking off on our trip. We chose to drive given the high prices of flights and the need for our own transportation once there. We also decided we would break up the long trip into 3 shorter more digestible drives, making our first stop a bit over 6 hours into it at a hotel, our second stop the next day at a bit over 7 hours at my brother-in-law’s house with his wife and kids where we spent the rest of the day, and the last stop in less than 5 hours with my in-law’s.

We also decided we needed to take enough for the kids to be entertained both on the drive there and during our stay, so we got them their Christmas presents early, which where 2 mini iPads, loaded plenty of movies, books, and games. We also brought along some regular books and toys.

One key factor for us at least was planning some time for the kids to decompress, which meant making time for them to be just with us (Mom and Dad), and not having the pressure to “behave”. Don’t get me wrong, my kids behave pretty well with us, Mom and Dad, but they can get a little out of hand with all the excitement of seeing relatives that they can forget their manners in an attempt to be funny. Coincidentally we had the opportunity to stay at my sister-in-law’s house while she was at her in-law’s, and that made that decompression time a bit easier. If we had not been at a different house alone we would probably had made pockets of time for the kids to be alone with us, like we did on our last day when we did spend the night with my in-law’s and chose to take the kids to a movie. The movie was a way for them to let their hair down, besides the fact that my kiddos crave entertainment on a regular basis.

Another part of my conversation with my husband was to have a mutual understanding that we would somewhat disconnect. What I mean by that is that precisely because our kiddos are so rambunctious we tend to need to supervise them constantly to make sure they are not setting the curtains on fire or sticking a fork in anything electric (I say this in jest….a bit….but not really) . Needing so much supervision, and a lot of it being repetitive given their ADHD, can make any parent a bit irritable, but a Dad with ADHD even more so. So we both agreed to not supervise them so much. We would have to roll with the punches. Hopefully one of their cousins would tell on them if they decided to juggle knives.

We were also traveling with a newly discovered constraint, which is my son’s milk allergy. Although his allergy is not life threatening and could very well continue to eat dairy with some antihistamines, we have seen improvements in his ADHD symptoms and also my daughter’s ADHD symptoms (who doesn’t show any milk allergy symptoms) since we decided to lead a dairy free life to the best of our abilities. With that in mind we decided to take a few measures to continue this diet as much as possible on our trip, but to also break a few rules and let them eat some dairy if it was right in front of their face, like Christmas cookies, or some other yummy treat.

I am happy to report that with much of the dairy products evaded during this trip, and since we were on vacation and let our hair down, we actually went a few days without ADHD medication without many complaints. I believe their ADHD symptoms were very reduce (including Dad), but pair that up with our “vacation” attitude, and we faired really well.

We knew we were asking a lot out of them during this trip, both for being in a car for so long and with behaving with relatives, that we also planned a tiny reward for them at the end of the long journey. Our second to last stop back home was Universal Studios. We ate out, walked the park, rode the rides, saw the attractions, walked away with 2 very cool transformers’ T-shirts for the kiddos, and stayed 2 nights at the nearest Hilton (one to rest up before the day at the park, and another to rest up for the last bit of driving).

It was a total of 10 days, and although I did do some laundry in the middle, I came home to do a ton of laundry on the 31st. We were all so tired, but so happy to be home too. One very excellent way to tie 2012 in a perfect little bow. So Perf!!

How did you get through the holidays?


Rossana G-A

Organized for Back to School

Every parent wants their children to start the school year off right, but for my crew it is even more of an endeavor. In order for us to start on track, and stay on track we needed some new tools, and to continue using some of our old ones.

We found this cool legal pad looking decal at Bed Bath and Beyond. It is a dry erase board where you can list out chores, or reminders of any sort. We got two; one for the fridge and one for the kids' bedroom mirrored closet door. In the kitchen are their chores. In the bedroom are their daily steps to get ready in the morning and to get ready for bed at night. 

We already had these assorted color magnets, and we are continuing to use them to highlight what chores have been done and which ones still need to be done. We use them on the fridge or on one of our dry erase boards. They don't work on the mirror, for obvious reasons, but I just thought I would clarify in case anyone was wondering.

We also already had this dry erase calendar from Target, and we have continued to use it to mark those special appointments, trips, days off from school, etc. It has been a great tool.

And since we have been doing the 'dry erase" thing for a while we had to stock up on new dry erase markers as well.

Another item I have been using for almost 2 years now are these great Mead Organizher fridge filer. The top bar is magnetized, and it has 3 plastic pockets with tabs which you can index/organize. I have 2, one for each kid. In them I put their school calendar, their classroom schedule, and any special paperwork their particular teacher may give me (like the list of classmates, and their parents). It has helped us enormously!! It is all within reach any time we need it, and even the kids know where to look for their school information.

 

Another tool in our arsenal is a large cork board. We use this to pin all those things that are a bit further in our schedule, like a flyer for an event at our local park, or the flyer for school picture day. They don't fit on our dry erase calendar yet, and the refrigerator is full enough as well, so these things get pinned in a separate spot to be checked the following month. It could also be a spot to put quick reference school tools, like multiplication tables, or grammar rules - the kids know to run and get them if their homework requires it.

And, of course, some push pins to pin stuff up. The clear ones are for regular stuff to pin, and the color ones are for those items that need special attention (like a birthday party invitation).

Our most recent addition is this lovely hall tree and storage bench. We have a coat hanger already, and we have some other storage around the house, but this one is specially assigned to school stuff. Everyone gets a double hook assigned; one for their backpack and one for their jacket. Larger jackets can be stored inside. Lunch bags are stored on the top shelf, along with other miscellaneous stuff, like swimming goggles (yes, random, but this summer it has helped to keep them handy). 

Our shoe rack is right next to it, so the bench is a good place to sit and put on your shoes, or sit to take them off and hang them back up.

These few and possibly uncommon tools and strategies have worked for us so far, and once school starts in a couple of days, will be tested further. It is up to us to stay constant and keep using them.

What organization tools and strategies do you use?



Rossana G-A


FTC Disclaimer: I am not compensated to write this post.

Married to ADHD- Whatever works!!

I have been married to my lovely ADHD husband over a decade now. We have been together for a bit over 16 years too. It is a lot of time for trial and error, and we will probably have lots more. I even think we will have a lot of this because of the nature of ADHD and how he easily grows tired of certain routines.

This has affected every aspect of our relationship, from financial to child rearing. We tried joint accounts where one managed expenses, then the other, and then finally separate accounts but shared monthly expenses and savings. We did breakfast duties him and dinner duties me, and switched, and then switched back. 

He would love to wear this shirt.

Something I haven’t been able to get rid of is the title of “Queen Nagger”. Surprisingly enough, I let a ton of things go simply because I am not insane and I know it doesn’t work to keep asking for it to get done. It only creates conflict. And yet I am the bad guy for reminding him that the leaves and branches he promised to take rake and take to the trash will not miraculously disappear after 3 months.

So what is a none ADHD wife to do with an ADHD husband?? Whatever works!!

My current strategy was to make an overly analyzed work chart, showing what each one usually does around the house and with the kids, how long it takes, and how many hours it adds up to. I finally had facts to reason with him. I could show how he indeed was doing a lot, but how much he wasn’t that he said he would, and who was picking up the slack because they were shared tasks. 

He refuses to clean toilets, so I do it.

No.1 thing I eliminated was shared duties. I did not want to be the warden in a jail telling him what to do and when to do it. I also didn’t want to feel annoyed that I was doing more than my share when he promised otherwise. I charted exactly what he was to be solely responsible for and what where mine.

He gets annoyed with folding clothes, so I do it.

No, it wasn’t an instant win. He actually argued how unfair it was that they weren’t shared. Why did he have to take out the trash every time?? Because I wash the clothes, clean the toilet, and mop the floors every time!! Wanna trade?? Didn’t think so! It wasn’t easy, and I didn’t give him attitude about it either. I presented the plan. We discussed it a few times, we argued a few others, and after a few more days to let him think about it I think we have come to an agreement. The key word here is “I think”, because he never actually admitted to it, he just started doing the things assigned to him on my chart. But that is all I need, for now. 

He actually doesn't mind taking out the trash, but he forgets.

No arguments yet. We have had a good few weeks doing this. We have managed to keep our place looking nice.

Now, we have to wait for school to start up again for both kids and him (he is in the middle of his Ph.D.), and hopefully we can keep this up. If not, then we switch it up again. Whatever works!!! Had I said that already??


How do you divide chores and tasks with your significant other?




Rossana G-A


FTC Disclaimer: I am not compensated to write this post.

Keeping the Magical Kingdom Magical even with ADHD

At Downtown Disney

We recently took a 3 day vacation to Anaheim. School was out for my kids and my Husband (or at least one more week left for him for his current classes) and we decided to join some family who decided to visit Disneyland as well. 

But taking a road trip with ADHD family members is not too easy a task. We made sure to have a good set of supplies, like drinks and snacks for the trip, but also we made sure to schedule our gas stops along with our bathroom breaks. We also decided to leave at 4:00am to have less heat and traffic, and that worked out well for us.

We got there mid day, and even though we wanted to go to both parks (California Adventure and Disneyland) we knew we could do it in one day. We went to Anaheim about 2 years ago and learned this very quickly. My ADHDers need specific rides to have fun, so we skipped what they didn't like. So this time around we took the remainder of our driving day walking around Downtown Disney and then heading back to the hotel pool.

Just floating around

We bought our park-hoppers that night and were ready to roll first thing the next morning. We also needed to make sure we would be comfortable at the park, so comfy shoes were a must.

My Princess wearing her Nike Free Run shoes

My daughter is 8 and my son is 6, so they didn't always agree on what rides they wanted to get on. When this happens, Divide and Conquer! Hubby went to one ride with one kid, while I went with the other kid to their choice of ride. Togetherness is not always the best way to go in an amusement park. We were in such a hurry to get in line that one time we forgot to hand off belongings, and my boy got chilly and had to use my sweatshirt. Did I mention it is always good to carry some layers? I learned this living in the Bay Area.

In line and wearing Mom's sweatshirt.

While in line, we were also prepared. We brought our iTouches...but that lasted only so long. We also took non-stop pictures, which my kids love (camera hogs).

When all else failed, some good old fashioned conversation did the trick. Making them talk about what ride they had liked best so far, or what ride they would try again, or even what they thought they wanted to have for lunch.

Speaking of lunch, we also took time-out to go eat when the kids started to get restless. There is nothing worse than a kid forced to eat when they would rather be in line to a ride, so we let them tell us when they were hungry.

Argh Matey!!

And back to the rides. And since parents get bored waiting in line too, I entertained myself braiding hair while my husband would play games on his iPhone.

The last trick up my sleeve?? Ignoring once in a while the ride attendant's instructions to keep off the rails. My feet were aching after waiting in line for so many rides, and after walking around not one but two parks, so heck yeah I'm gonna lean or sit on the rails, and so I let my kids do so once in a while too. We were frequent offenders, so sorry Lady in the weird skipper outfit at the Ariel ride...or whatever the ride's name was.

So, was walking around all day, and waiting in line half the time, was it worth it??? Some say no, but we say HECK YEAH!! Where else could you scream so much, and laugh so much at the same time? 

And even though my kids are a bit older now, they still get a kick out of spotting Mickey walking around the park.

Around dinner time, Hubby and I needed a few Margaritas, and since Disneyland is alcohol free we strolled ourselves over to Downtown Disney once more to wait for our last Fast-Pass time of the day. But once the kids took a few bites of their dinner, our plans had to change.

Job well done MAGICAL KINGDOM! Job well done!

Are the long lines at Disneyland worth it for you?

Rossana G-A




FTC Disclaimer: I am not compensated to write this post.

Hearts for breakfast! Eggs in a french toast cage.

Here is another cute idea for breakfast. My kids love french toast, and they love eggs, so I combined them. Here is what you need:

12 eggs

8 slices of bread

some salt

syrup of your liking

Yep. It's that easy!! And I had all the ingredients at home.

I cut out some heart shapes on 8 slices of bread (2 each for my family of 4). I whisked 4 eggs to dip the bread in. 

I used 2 pans, one for the caged eggs and another for the french toast alone. I cracked 1 egg inside each cut-out slice. Add some salt to taste to the eggs and cook for about 2 minutes. Make sure to turn them over if you like them 'over-easy".

Again, my kids usually don't like mixing sweet and savory, so they got their french toast with chocolate syrup on a separate plate.

This took me maybe 10 minutes in the morning, and it is yummy yummy!!!


They got some extra protein in their breakfast, and Mom got praised for how big her heart was. Win-win!!


Do you have a recipe with hearts?


Rossana G-A





FTC Disclaimer: I am not compensated to write this post.

Breakfast treat - Pancakes!

Last weekend I made some pancakes for my family. I had not made any in a while, and I knew it was time to make some. I grew up eating pancakes on the weekends as a treat. It was a whole production since we were eight, but when it comes to making pancakes for four people it isn't as bad as it sounds.

I also feel that buying the ready made kind is a waste of money as the recipe is so easy, and making it from scratch keeps me within budget. Most ingredients I have at home all the time.

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

3 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt

1 tablespoon white sugar
1 1/4 cups milk

1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 egg
3 tablespoons butter, melted

In a large bowl you sift together the flour, baking powder, salt and sugar. You poor in little by little the milk, the vanilla extract, the egg and melted butter; mix until smooth. You can do this with an electric mixer at medium for about 2 minutes.

I personally opt for a whisk most times as I want to surprise my kids without waking them up, and it just takes me a minute or two extra.

Then you heat a griddle or frying pan over medium high heat. I like using butter to grease the griddle to add to the flavor, and I don't have to give my family any extra butter to spread once ready.

Pour or scoop the batter onto the griddle if you want regular sized pancakes, using approximately 1/4 cup for each pancake. I like making "dollar pancakes" which are bite sized and avoid some of the mess of having the kids cut them up. Brown on both sides and serve hot.

This recipe makes 8 servings, but my bunch is a hungry one, soI have to make more than just pancakes. I add some protein with some eggs sunny side up and some turkey bacon. I like the turkey bacon because it doesn't shrivel up as much as regular turkey does as it has less fat. Win-win in my book.

Turkey bacon is almost done, and eggs need a few more seconds.

My kiddos don't like mixing sweet and savory, so they eat their eggs and turkey bacon in one plate and their pancakes in another. Maple syrup or strawberry syrup is used in my home, but I'm sure any syrup would do.

As you can probably tell, the turkey bacon is nowhere to be found on these pictures, and that is because I was too slow to take a picture and they had already devoured it. I have some happy campers here!!

What is your breakfast treat?

Rossana G-A





FTC Disclaimer: I am not compensated to write this post.