I take issue with your news story NYT

I struggled greatly with the idea my daughter could be diagnosed with ADHD as early as age 4, and it took me close to 3 more years to agree to get her diagnosed, and a few extra months to agree to use prescription drugs. I read as much as I could about it and when I finally did take that step with her I still felt some hesitation. No amount of drug company propaganda or doctor reassurances made me feel any better until I saw with my own eyes how she reacted to it. As I have mentioned before in this blog, it wasn’t an easy road, but what did make me feel a bit better about taking that first step was reading other parents’ experiences with their children, and still and proceeded with caution.

If I had any long lasting proven alternative to prescription drugs I would go that route in a heartbeat, because I know the cons to prescription drugs as well as I know the pros, and at this point in time the pros outweigh the cons. As a parent I feel it is my job to safeguard my children by being informed, and I happen to think my physician’s office is not the end-all-be-all for information. That may not be the case with other parents.

I take issue with reporting that “Several doctors mentioned that advertising from the pharmaceutical industry that played off parents’ fears” such as Shire’s Vyvanse showing a parent looking at her son and saying, “I want to do all I can to help him succeed.” I saw that ad and I still didn’t want my child on medication, but those exacts words came from me months afterward when she finally was on medication and succeeding. If anything, that ad is SPOT ON. Whoever thinks otherwise has obviously not gone through the angst of deciding to medicate their child with a stimulant.

The below is their current ad campaign for Vyvanse, and I think very accurate about the work still needed regardless of the medication.

http://www.vyvansekids.com/?mid=V002682

Other drug companies may have similar ads, but I am greatly familiar with this one as we use it in our family.

I also take issue with physicians and other healthcare providers making less of our parental concerns. I heard Dr. Hallowell refer to stimulants as being “safer than aspirin,” and I knew that wasn’t accurate. Aspirin actually has several risks, but we live with them anyway because we weigh the options. Yet, most people aren’t given those options to weigh up-front and in the open. The information is there for the taking, but in fine print, in libraries, in medical publications, in places you need to go out and look for. It isn’t the first thing they give you when diagnosed. It is actually one of the lasts things they give you, and usually after they have given you a prescription.

I know many people are still reluctant to take their children to get evaluated because of all the negative media surrounding ADHD and medication. I have personally spoken to several parents who had concerns about their children and getting an ADHD diagnosis, and their chief complaint was exactly that. I don’t make less of their worry, I relate, but I also share my experiences with both my children. I also advocate for them to get informed and show them the way to several publications.

I don’t doubt there are plenty of children being misdiagnosed, and I know there are some teachers out there not helping matters by pressuring parents into getting their children medicated as if that was the one and only solution. There could be a happy medium. Healthcare providers could be more careful in their diagnosis, and provide parents with additional reading resources so they can make informed decisions.

Scare tactics by the media, and the New York Times in particular with yet another article blowing out of proportion ADHD diagnosis and treatment, is not the way to go. http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/01/health/more-diagnoses-of-hyperactivity-causing-concern.html?pagewanted=all I have read this article published yesterday several times now, and I understand there is some very accurate information in it (although two corrections have been made from yesterday to today, so maybe they were too quick to the punch), but it also has very alarming language that can make a hesitant parent steer completely away from even getting their child diagnosed fearing the worst. Several other people I spoke to who read it had the same first reaction I did, which was that of an “alarming” story. It wasn’t till I pointed out other facts in it and some of my own that they realized they walked away with only the negatives and none of the positives, such as the wording changes expected from the American Psychiatric Association to the criteria for ADHD diagnosis to allow that symptoms merely “impact” daily activities, rather than cause “impairment.” This is actually a good thing, which they attempted to point out, and yet I still find their choice of words didn't help when saying:

 merely “impact” daily activities

It make it feel unimportant, small, insignificant. This “merely” has some heavy repercussions when the symptoms show up every day several times a day. A leaky pipe can have some permanent damage on the rest of your house.

My kids have shown great improvement through medication, but also through patterns and structure in their routines and some diet modification. We are doing so well that we can have our weekends OFF of medication. Their symptoms are still there, but less prevalent and a bit more manageable during days that don't require so much focus on detail and where their impulsivity can be curtailed by their parents (i.e. me and Hubby).

I am just tired of people who don’t know what it is to live with ADHD to pass judgment. It is a daily struggle, and you are not making it any easier. If only one child gets better options simply because of the diagnosis alone it will make their life that much better, even if they choose not to use medication. Don’t scare them off. Medication is one small part of treating ADHD, but this sort of publicity makes people stay away from the rest when it can make all the difference in the world to simply KNOW.

Do you think some news stories get exaggerated?




Rossana G-A



FTC Disclaimer: I am not compensated to write this post.

My part to change an imperfect world - Spreading the word about ADHD

ABC 20/20 story April 2012

Back in April I saw a 20/20 story about how Human Resources at different places still discriminate against people, and one topic that struck me hard was the fact that they still avoid hiring Moms. The story mentioned having the company rep walk out with the candidate all the way to their car to see if they could notice a baby seat or booster chair in the car. Really? People still do that? What a world we live in, huh?

I am doing my part to take away that stigma as well. I talk about being a working mom to everyone at work. They can see how being a mom does not take away from the quality of work I do. They can see I have no qualms about asking for a day off because I need to take my child to a doctor’s appointment, or the dentist, or leave early to go to their holiday recital, because I can still come back the next day and work just as hard to make up for my time. I actually think I work harder BECAUSE I am a MOM, because I know I will take time off, or call in sick when my child is not well, so I make sure my business is taken care off before I leave or in case I can’t come in. And many other Moms and Dads have done the same here in the Bay Area where I live. Coming from Texas and to Northern California I was able to see how the culture over here was much more family friendly. And this did not happen over night. This happened because of people talking and writing about their family life, making it a priority to have certain accommodations, not being ashamed of putting family ahead of work.

I make mention of this because I feel a lot more people would relate to fighting for work/life balance then they would about something more specific to me or my family.

TIME Magazine - Are you Mom enough? May 2012

Back in May, not long after the famous (and for some, the “infamous”) cover photo of TIME with the breastfeeding Mom and the article about “attachment parenting”, I read a criticism about the image and its effect on the child in it when he grew up. The article spoke about how this child may some day be a regretful adult looking back at this picture, wishing it had never happened. Maybe so, but maybe not.

Parenting.com - Pop Culture- May 2012

These parents (and I don’t only mention the Mom as both Dad and Mom agreed to the publication) have strong opinions about attachment parenting, and about how they feel the message needs to be out there, that it is OK to breastfeed past a certain age, and the important bonding that occurs, etc. etc. I will withhold my own opinions about attachment parenting, as that is not the point of my mentioning it. What IS the point is that I am confident that with such strong beliefs they will continue to talk about how they parent and how they decided to speak out about it, and this child may very well be a very proud adult that decides to also follow attachment parenting and continue to be a “poster-adult” for the cause.

That is how I feel about talking and writing publicly about what my family faces every day because of our ADHD. I say “our” even though I don’t have ADHD, but when 3 out of 4 in my family have it is like I have it too.

I have written about how my husband was diagnosed with ADHD since he was a baby (yes, it was that obvious and severe with him!). I have also written about how hard it was for both him and I to notice the same symptoms in my daughter since she was little, and then finally face the music and get her evaluated and diagnosed. The every day things are still hard, but once you have gotten as far as getting informed and getting diagnosed, the rest is a lot easier. My son has also recently gotten evaluated and diagnosed as ADHD, but this time around it wasn’t as emotional or hard to take.

I have also learned to talk with my kids’ teachers about what accommodation they need and what they don’t, and I happen to be very proud of the fact that they will talk to people about their symptoms and how they cope with them in a very informed and nonchalant fashion. Why should they act any other way?

I have admitted before that I was afraid to get my daughter diagnosed because I was afraid of having her be labeled, but after getting much more informed and weighing the pros and cons, if a label is what they need to get the accommodations they deserve and for their self-esteem not to suffer as much then so be it.

Many ADHD posts on my own blog, So Perf!

We live in an imperfect world, and it is up to us to change it. In a perfect world people wouldn’t care if you are a Parent to make a hiring decision. In a perfect world they wouldn’t care if a 4 year old were still breastfeeding or doing it in public. In a perfect world they wouldn’t care if you were ADHD or not.

In a perfect world they would see that most parents are super multitaskers and an asset. In a perfect world we would see breastfeeding more naturally and not so shocking, regardless of age or place. In a perfect world they would notice an ADHD symptom and know exactly why it is happening and how to address it and how to even help (like giving them time and space to get over a hurdle). In a perfect world their school wouldn’t need a parent to ask for a special accommodation or plan, because they would simply know that not all kids are alike and they ALL (even those without ADHD) learn differently.

What I am doing by writing about what we as a family go through and how we handle things is what I consider my part to change this imperfect world, if only a little bit at a time.

For however long ADHD has been acknowledged, and people hear about it on TV and in newspapers, the vast majority of people know nothing more than it is a label for someone who gets easily distracted and is more active than most. And that is about as much as I knew about it for over 10 years of being with my husband, and how we suffered for that lack of knowledge. Why would I want others to go through the same struggles that ignorance causes, lack of understanding and empathy, and the heartache?

In the few years my daughter has been diagnosed, the people we interact with at her school have increased their knowledge and understanding of ADHD through us. Some parents have even taken the extremely hard step of taking their kids to get evaluated, and some even came back with an ADHD diagnosis. I think that is a major accomplishment because my daughter struggled with school, her self-esteem, and her social skills simply because we had not diagnosed her. Since then she has been doing incredibly well. Why would I want another child to suffer along several years with ADHD without the right tools to help them?

I am proud that we went to get my son evaluated a whole year sooner than my daughter. We had our suspicions about him around the same time my daughter was diagnosed, but we wanted to give him a chance to mature and either show it was just his early age or that it indeed was ADHD, but at least we did not struggle with the fear of taking him to the doctor. It was easier now that we had all the information.

ADHD is found in families, but no specific gene has yet been determined. Odds are that my grandchildren will be ADHD. In a perfect world, my kids will know so much more about this, their spouses/partners will know as well and not from my family informing them, and my grandkids will have all that my husband didn’t; understanding from others, empathy, and ready for success from the get-go.

I am working towards my perfect world.



What are you doing to help change this imperfect world?








Rossana G-A


FTC Disclaimer: I am not compensated to write this post.

Fighting for your right to get a diagnosis - the many struggles ADHDers face.

In this world we live in there are plenty of obstacles for your ADHD children, but I never imagined those obstacles would be at your Doctor’s office. I personally have been very lucky to have been in the care of very attentive health providers, but that isn’t always the case for everyone.

I was shocked to find out a co-worker of mine had been turned away from her local ADHD specialists’ office by whomever was in charge of taking appointments. I was even more upset by the reasons they used to turn her away. She is the mother of an 18-year-old boy that has had a history of forgetfulness, inattentiveness, and falling grades. Schoolteachers never asked for an ADHD evaluation, but then again ADHD kids aren’t always as easy to spot. She told me she had finally worked up the courage to get her son evaluated when she heard me talking about my husband and my daughter and how different things are now that we know what we are dealing with and have implemented tools to help address our issues. She felt there was hope for her and her son, about to start college, and that what she thought would be a terribly difficult journey could somehow be made less so if diagnosed properly.

With a brand new attitude she went on the search for a specialist. She mustered up the courage to call, and when asked the normal questions of the reason to get an appointment, the person on the phone kept attempting to persuade her to desist from an appointment. The main reason she was given over and over? “Your son is too old to be ADHD!!” “What??, But I have been told ADHD doesn’t go away! It is not cured, only managed! What do you mean he is too old?” “If your son has made it this far without being diagnosed, then he isn’t” “Isn’t there a chance they never caught it?” “Maybe, but those odds are slim. Teachers know how to catch these things. It doesn’t sound like your son would benefit from seeing the doctor”.

Insist to have the Doctor see you!

I was a bit more than upset when I heard the story. I have been up to my eyeballs in articles and research papers for the past 2 years reading how so many adults have gone undiagnosed. They lead troubled lives, suffering from depression, mood swings, addiction, all because they were never diagnosed. And this one person is doing all in their power to add one more young man to the list, simply because he didn’t cause enough havoc in school. 

I am not an expert, and I have not met this young 18-year-old boy, so I cannot say if he is indeed ADHD, but neither has this person on the other side of the phone.

To those people out there thinking “my child could be ADHD” or “my spouse could be ADHD” or even “maybe I am ADHD”, please don’t let the naysayers stop you from getting the proper attention you need. If it isn’t ADHD, maybe you can still benefit from a Doctor taking a look at the symptoms and giving you another diagnosis or provide additional help.

Hold to your guns, and ask for the appointment. If the Doctor has availability to take new patients, and you have all your required paperwork (insurance and the like),  there should be no reason to turn you away.

To all those working in Doctor’s offices: You are not the doctor, and working in their office for however much time does not make you one. Please don’t stop patients from getting the help they need and want.

What are some of your Doctor's Office pet peeves?

Rossana G-A




FTC Disclaimer: I am not compensated to write this post.